"I should like to say something to help you in the time of separation which lies immediately ahead. There is no need to speak about it's difficulties, but as I have learnt something about it myself during the last nine months, having been separated during that time from all those I love, I should like to pass it on to you.
Firstly, nothing can fill the gap when we are away from those we love, and it would be wrong to try and find anything. We must simply hold out and win through. That sounds very hard at first, but at the same time it is a great consolation, since leaving the gap unfilled preserves the bonds between us. It is nonsense to say God fills the gap: he does not fill it, but keeps it empty so that our communion with another may be kept alive, even at the cost of pain. Secondly, the dearer and richer our memories, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude converts the pangs of memory into a tranquil joy. The beauties of the past are not endured as a thorn in the flesh, but as a gift precious for it's own sake. We must not wallow in our memories or surrender to them, just as we don't gaze all the time at a valuable present, but get it out from time to time, and for the rest hide it away as a treasure we know is there all the time. Treated in this way, the past can give us lasting joy and inspiration. Thirdly, times of separation are not a total loss, nor are they completely unprofitable for our companionship- at least there is no reason why they should be. In spite of all the difficulties they bring, they can be a wonderful means of strengthening and deepening fellowship. Fourthly, it has been borne in upon me here with peculiar force that a concrete situation can always be mastered, and that only fear and anxiety magnify them to an immeasurable degree beforehand. From the moment we awake until the moment we fall asleep we must commend other people wholly and unreservedly to God and leave them in his hands, transforming our anxiety for them into prayers on their behalf.
'With sorrows and with fears,
Let EVERYTHING be taken to God.'
This was written to Bonhoeffer's dear friend who was about to be sent off to fight in the war for Germany. I'm sure it must have been difficult to have to leave a country and the people you love, fight for a dictator you hate and tried to dispatch, and also serve Jesus fight against people you don't know. "That sounds very hard at first...", no?
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